Few weeks back, I dreamed of a dream so intense. Woke up feeling numb. And sad.
Days goes by and I thought it shall pass as only a dream but little did i know. It consumed my thoughts. Everyday.
The thoughts came running in between the sips of the morning coffee. In between the turning pages. In between looking and smiling towards other. The thoughts is there.
I dreamed of walking the the same walk, the same pavement with the same end-of-winter-comes-spring weather. The same old bricks building. And most of all, I finally be able to feel the ease in my self. The comfortable feeling sipping through. The feeling of being belonged somewhere in a place so far. The feeling there is real. The feeling that makes you think I can easily achieve anything. I can accomplish anything. Bring anything to me and I shall take the world. That’s how I feel in my dream.
But waking up destroys it all. Hopeless, loser and fake. That’s what I feel now. No more feeling the world is mine. No more the air of wanting and having to take the world by myself. But most importantly. No more the feeling of happiness and easiness. Left with a war inside me.
But I shall not give up. For the old bricks and the weather should be a reality once more. For I will be there and be at ease. Forever.