It’s 2 hours and 15 minutes more to midnight. And here I am alone by the mosque trying to figure out how to finish the day of 9th March by my own. Its like an ordinary day. Going to classes and labs and doing my assignments. *sighs* Truthfully, I’ve never like when its my birthday. It makes me depressed. It makes me feel lonely but it certainly doesn’t make me feel old.
I feel the usual except more depressed.
I never knew what I want for my birthday. But one thing for sure. Everytime I scroll my Facebook or my WordPress, the travelling posts never get past my eyes without me re-blogging or sharing. Every freaking years, I’ll be dreaming of spending a birthday by my own at a place that I love. Never mind being alone. As long as I be where I want to be.
Honestly, I never expect gifts nor wishes from people around me. Because I know. No one really care. Like seriously care. Serious talk. I guess being selfish is the trend nowadays. There are many people that called themselves a friend or ‘besties’ or even ‘sistursszzz for lyfe’ but none of them really care in reality. There goes the long lists of all the whatsapp group with the never-ending lists of your so-called-friends. But in the real world. No one even cares.
No one even bother to really ask “Whats going on?” and “How are you coping with your life now?” or even to even care to say Hello.
Everybody said the same thing,its either “We are too busy with our life that we don’t have time for others.”. Or “We’re now too busy with all the assignments and classes and we’re all struggling to make sure we didn’t miss any deadlines.” or any other bullshits that sounded crappy enough to be a reason.
What happened to “talk to me when you need me”? Or maybe ” You can always lend my shoulder to cry.” Or perhaps ” Hey, I will always be there come hell or high water. I’ll stand for you.” But, I guess every one of them are now just lines for movies or drama or soap opera trying to tell the world that a true friend still exists giving hopes to all the lonely people out there to believe there will always be a person for them to tell and have a place to talk.
But in the end. I guess we, ourselves are the one who should make a differences. Try to be a good friend towards others even though sometime you’ll feel unappreciated or lost. But try to hold on and be the good friend that we usually saw on TV. Be that good friend that hold on to the promise of “I’ll be there when you need me.” or the promise of “You always have me to talk to when you need to spill something.”
Don’t be the friend that make a promise of being there when they need you but ends up saying “I’m sorry. I’m too busy to talk now.” or the friend that hang up the phone when the other friend is crying at the other end. Or even a friend that didn’t even notice any difference towards their friend. Not after he/she already cut their hand. Don’t be a friend that will always be there for gossips and and the lalala stories but disappear when there are no flash news to talk about. Or as I like to call it. Don’t be a ‘Starbucks’ friends where you meet up for coffees and selfies and gossips then disappear the next day.
Be there for the ups and downs of the stories. Be in between the slope. Be in between the stories. And be in between the times of the storyline. And for that. I’m sure you’ll make yourself a wonderful friend. A friend worth holding to. A friend worth knowing.
Its a long post and yeah it kinda bored I know. But do try. To be as good as you can be. Be as caring as you can be. And I hope you’ll be someone worth knowing.
And that applies to me too
P/s : Never be someone like me. Always lonely and depressed for not having a friend by my side but instead search high and low for a good one. You’ll find one, one fine day
p/s/s : This was written two years ago. Mind the very childish choice of words.