Friend or Foe?

I honestly don’t understand. What am I? Am I your friend or am I just a person you want to win over? I have nothing in my life as to compare to you. You have the brain, perhaps beauty and even more money I guess. I am no one.

I’m jaded. I am a trash.

I fall into my own deepest darkest world. I don’t own any fucking thing better than you and yet you still choose to talk shit bout me. You still want to compete against me that has nothing over the world. Why? I called you a friend. With the hopes of maybe sharing bits and bites of my never-ending-fucking-world and yet you chose to backstabbed me. What is wrong with me? Did I somehow threatens you in a way? Did I own something that you want all along?

Speak up girl.

Tell me what the hell you want with my life?

What is that things you want from my life? I am more than willing to give it to you as I am more than enough handling this jaded world of mine. I told you my secrets. I helped you along the way even when I’m struggling myself.

I am the fucked-up with the medication and stucked-up mental health.

And you are the one that excelled in every part and bits of your life and why the hell you still choose to ruin my already ruined life by pretending to be my friend instead of living that luxury, glamorous life of yours? Why? Just fucking why? I shouldn’t believe you from the very start. I shouldn’t befriend with you from the very start. I fucked up and I thought I might hang on a bit when I have a friend. The thoughts of having a friend is a luxury for me. But then if having a ‘friend’ like you, I would rather live in this rotting hell of mine. Thanks for letting me know just how ‘awesome’ the word friend means.

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